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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Posted:May 15, 2018 6:42 am
Last Updated:May 23, 2018 7:48 am
60 Views

A pastor brought this to a meeting. Thought I'd share.

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic – Only one. Hands already in the air

Pentecostal – Ten. One to change the light bulb, nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians – None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic – None. Candles only

Baptists – At least 15. One to change the light bulb and 3 committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Anglicans – 3. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Methodists - Undecided

Uniting - Whether your light is light, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb or tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Mormons – 6. 5 wives to replace the bulb while husband reviews church lighting policy

Lutherans – None. Lutherans don't believe in change

Amish – What's a light bulb?
2 Comments
My response to an abortion post on another site.
Posted:Mar 2, 2018 9:34 pm
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2018 7:17 am
3553 Views

In ancient times people worshiped through various religious orgies. The fathers of these unwanted children were often unknown. The children were sacrificed by throwing them into the hot arms of their god Molech. They were cremated alive. Drums would beat loudly to drown out the screams while the child died. That was ancient abortion, unwanted children through fornication. God judged that and wiped out those that committed it and people wonder why God wiped out some nations. More to the point, wouldnt you wonder why if He didnt? 3,000 abortions a day? He wont remain passive much longer. Judgement will come for this.

Today it's similar, unwanted children can be sacrificed younger still. The unheard screams of a child in the womb will be heard by the Creator. Judgement will come.

Some say, "How dare you tell a woman what to do with her body!?"
It's not her body she's sacrificing, it's her son or daughter's.

I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born. - Ronald Reagan.
7 Comments
Grandson's intro to football.
Posted:Feb 27, 2018 7:00 am
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2018 7:07 pm
3661 Views

My eldest daughter told me a story the other day and I thought it was cute. She'd taken my eldest grandson who is 8 years old to a football game with all adults in both teams, it was 'flag football' or 'touch football'.

It doesnt involve tackling the opponents, just doing maneuvers to avoid them and if you are touched you have to stop play and I'm not sure what you do after that, whether you pass the ball to the other team, have 3 touches and then pass the ball to the other team or what, I dont know, but whatever the rules my grandson was on the sideline looking enviously at them.

These men were all from my church, one African American pastor is a huge man, a martial artist and does weights etc. He told my grandson to come and play, they were careful not to run into him and the pastor let him catch him twice, but then got a shock. My grandson got him a couple of times when he didnt want to be touched, the kid was fast.

On one occasion when it was time to kick off, the two teams faced each other, they stared at my grandson and he stared right back. Then they started intimidating him, trying to tease him and saying stuff like, "He's too small. We'll run rings around him" and lots of other things. He stared at them for a while and then just said, "I didnt come here to talk."

What a kid! Mum was proud and the guys laughed. She was beaming telling me about it all. He wants to go back again next week. He's hooked.
3 Comments
Devil for dinner?
Posted:Jan 17, 2018 7:42 pm
Last Updated:Feb 27, 2018 7:03 am
5025 Views

A pastor friend of mine told me this story about an Aboriginal friend of his who became a pastor. After a few years of having his own church he came back to my friend's church to preach.

Introducing his sermon he announced that if Adam and Eve had been Aboriginal we'd have no problem with sin today. The congregation was puzzled, was this becoming racial? They were a little nervous and wondered where this was going and then he said, "They wouldn't have worried about the apple, they'd have eaten the snake."

Gotta love the way he broke the ice.
9 Comments
Where's my post?
Posted:Sep 4, 2016 8:36 pm
Last Updated:Sep 24, 2017 6:42 am
43187 Views

I put up a post the other day. It's in my blogs but dont know why it's not coming up on the main blog page? Any ideas?
2 Comments
Hillbilly weekend coming around again.
Posted:Aug 31, 2016 6:23 am
Last Updated:Sep 24, 2016 6:14 am
54367 Views

I like certain bluegrass tunes and also some Irish as well. Mainly happy dance type tunes to play. I'm not really into the 'Dead Darling' tunes. They only have one festival a year in our State. It's been running for about 4 or 5 years I think, still relatively new. Not many Hillbilly music lovers our way I guess but seems to be growing.

Last year I wanted to go to the festival, got my 4wd and caravan (trailer I think you guys in the States call it) and couldnt wait to hook it up to go.

One of the organisers had asked me if I'd take a lot of bedding down that she'd purchased to the festival for interstate and international visitors. All the local accommodation was booked so she let the visiting performers know if and asked if they would mind tenting it, they didnt mind at all (they are hillbillys ) so she organised tents for all of them but needed the bedding as it was cold at night. I said I would take it down for her.

2 days before I was due to go the water pump in the 4wd seized. I ordered a pump, it had to come from interstate, it came the day I was due to leave. Informing the organiser of the festival about it she just hoped I could fix it in time. I looked at the job and knew it would take too long.

I told my eldest daughter and she asked her husband if I could borrow his vehicle. He said ok. I filled his ute full of fuel came back and hooked up the caravan, loaded all my stuff in his ute and the caravan, jumped in ....it wouldnt start. Fuel pump had decided to give up the ghost right then, it was about 11.00am. I was pretty disappointed, unloaded his ute and had the mobile mechanic come but he said he couldnt fix it. My son-in-law is a mechanic, I rang and told him. He said he had a huge work load on and couldnt fix it till Saturday, it was Thursday.... I had it towed to his work after unloading it and the caravan with my things and felt pretty down. I looked up and said, "Ok if You dont want me to go I wont."

With many calls and apologies in the meantime to the organiser of the festival trying to figure out how to get the stuff down, she said she'd try and get someone else to do it. She was already at the festival setting up.

About 4.00pm in the afternoon I got a call from my son-in-law telling me that his car was fixed and I could pick it up. I was stunned! I asked how did he fix it so fast? He said that one of his workmates (Garry) who was on holidays had dropped in to see him and heard the story. He shot off and got the part (last one in our city) and drained the fuel tank, fixed it and put it back in for him. I got a lift to his work with a friend as he'd already had my town car and drove home.

I hooked up the caravan and went to the organiser's home, picked up the bedding and got there at 11.00pm at night but well in time as most were coming Friday. I'd almost given up but got there albeit exhausted. I was grateful the festival is only a couple of hours drive from me.

Well, I had the best weekend of the whole year. Had a ball. Praise God! It was wonderful, I'd met people I had not seen for years, played my little heart out till the wee hours. My fingers were pretty sore by the end of it all, but nothing could wipe the grin off my face. I was elated. That was last year.

I've now packed almost everything except the cold food, almost ready to go to this years festival tomorrow morning. Hope it's as good as last year. After losing my mother I really need a pick-me-up. Hope this is it.

May as well add this bit rather than do a second blog later. I'll just keep going while inspired, might not be later.

To go back a few years. Garry the workmate of my son-in-law is a black powder shooter but I prefer the modern stuff. Once he found out I liked shooting through my son-in-law he got excited, wanted to meet me and he could talk guns all day! He invited me to his black powder club open day with BBQ and gave me the use one of his old 50 cal guns to use. I enjoyed the learning. We had a social competition and I met a lot of great people.

He invited me another time about 6 months later and I met up with them again. Lots of fun, but it's not something I'd take up every weekend. It's novelty stuff. Too labourious loading. I like just filling up a magazine and plinking away.

That's it for now. Back in a week or so.

God bless.
2 Comments
Getting on my feet again.
Posted:Jun 13, 2016 3:44 am
Last Updated:Jun 27, 2016 8:49 pm
48690 Views

It's been a rough time the beginning of this year but I'm finding that I'm inproving a bit more after Mum's passing. Still a bit weepy during my devotional time as Mum is still on my prayer list, I still pray for her salvation as God is the same yesterday, today and forever. Maybe He'll backdate my continuing prayer for her? Who knows? I dont think the Bible says I cant (but I'll stand corrected if shown). I hope she accepted the Lord in her heart when I shared the gospel with her a few times when she could not communicate anymore.

But God is good. He has kept me through it all. Praise His Name always.

Thanks again for all who have given me their sympathy and encouragement. I'm hoping the Lord will bless you for it, that's my prayer back for you.

God bless and see y'all in heaven, if not before.
5 Comments
Settling things
Posted:May 3, 2016 4:07 am
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2016 2:33 am
46304 Views

Hi,

Have to fly back interstate this Thursday and settle my mother's affairs. Not sure how long I'll be there. Her funeral was last Friday. Still a bit numb, tiredness and emotions are issues as well but am coping. Thanks for your prayers and kind words to those who've supported me. God bless.
2 Comments
Mother passed away
Posted:Apr 22, 2016 12:42 am
Last Updated:May 21, 2016 3:14 am
45135 Views

My mother passed away yesterday. She died in a lot of pain even though she had morphine continually. This is a read only post, sorry. I'm not up to replying to posts yet, I'm emotionally exhausted. God bless.
0 Comments
Prayer update 2
Posted:Mar 5, 2016 11:55 pm
Last Updated:Sep 24, 2017 6:44 am
48783 Views

Hi,

Been through quite a bit lately. I've flown back and forth interstate a couple of times to be with my mother. Firstly I was told by the local hospital that my mother could not fly, I'd bought tickets and had to cancel. Later when she was transferred from the hospital to a rest home I was told by different nurses she could fly, as long as she can walk a bit she can fly. So after losing money on cancellation and re-booking fees I have booked her to fly in a few weeks to a rest home near me as I live interstate. To get that organised was very difficult but my eldest daughter did a marvelous job of sorting that out. I pray my mother will be well enough on the day to travel as it's a 2 hr drive to the airport, then 1 hour wait and 2 3/4 hour flight to my city then another 40 minutes till we get to where she has to go. I keep trying to get through to her that God loves her, hopefully it will sink in.

Costs have been very high in keeping her in respite care. We have to sell her home, so once she's settled I fly back and help my brother sell her house to pay for the fees. Rest homes here are $300-$400k and up, the longer we take to pay higher fees are charged. This is not going to be easy as we have to sort out her things, work out what to keep and throw. She has a house full of furniture, but it's old and not worth much. Sorting out and filling out paperwork for all the powers that be, sorting out her bills, sorting out so many things is quite a job. Also what clothes we take etc has to be worked out. Interstate trucking removals are expensive also. Until her house is sold very high fees are charged and there's also higher fees again if it's not sold within 60 days.......

My kids are coming up next week to help, they will stay a week and we will all be on the same flight back together God willing.

Now to backtrack, while in the hospital I told my mother if she was struggling to pray. The woman in the next bed heard me and started saying the Lord's Prayer. This woman has severe skin cancer, her face is all scars from skin grafts, she cant walk, bedridden and cant swallow her food unless vertical, she's in a very bad way and in a lot of pain. A few days later this lady went to a rest home, she told me where she was going so I visited her a few times. The first time she was stressed when I tried to witness to her, she said she didnt care if she went to heaven or hell. This puzzled me as she'd said the Lord's prayer the other day. After chatting a while I asked her why she didnt respond to the Lord calling her and she got a bit defensive. I looked her in the eye and said, "What's stopping you is pride." She hung her head and said, "You are right." I asked if I could pray with her before I went and she said ok. So I prayed a prayer of salvation with her hoping in her heart she'd agree with it. I've been back a few more times to see her, each time praying with her before I go and she's always glad to see me. I'm praying her heart really accepted the Lord. She's really a lovely lady, her mind is good and sharp. There's so much more, but I'll leave that for now.

I want to thank all who are praying for my mother and others I meet, it's really appreciated.

God bless.
Hermit.
3 Comments

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