reading scripture
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Posted:Dec 15, 2015 6:36 pm
Last Updated:Dec 17, 2015 6:12 pm 21747 Views
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I FIRST read the bible when I was 45. the church I was attending bought me a really nice one, and I felt obligated to read it. it was a an NIV study bible and I read the whole thing for the first time in my life. it changed my life. I kept reading it in various translations until I went to seminary and HAD to read it again and again and study it to death until it stopped being fascinating and then I didn't want to read it anymore.
I have just started to read it again. I started in Mathew and am trying to read a chapter every night..EVERY night. I thought if I start slow I won't get discouraged. it is especially wonderful reading the matthew birth of jesus account leading up to Christmas. forgive me father god for being away for so long. 
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no internet
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Posted:Dec 9, 2015 9:46 am
Last Updated:Dec 17, 2015 6:13 pm 21228 Views
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my little brother is in town from california. that is important because i have been staying in the basement apt. that my folx made for him when he is in chicago. i have had to stay IN my folx apartment while he is here, and no longer have access to the internet (or my computer). so i haven't been posting here. i will be back in the apartment by the middle of next week. it has been hairy, but i am blessed that i have a place to stay and that my little brother has been around, i miss him.
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not going to the bar :)
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Posted:Dec 1, 2015 6:24 pm
Last Updated:May 15, 2024 7:16 am 18591 Views
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I finally figured out why I feel so lost lately. I have stopped going out to the bar and playing my guitar. I had stopped doing that for quite a while before I got sick, so I didn't make the connection before. but now I am not going out to the bar specifically and I have MUCH less of a social life. that is why I am so lost and lonely.
I don't want to be out to the bar anymore, but I miss the social part of it now. I guess I miss my guitar too. but it was not a healthy thing the last I was doing it. I need to pray about it now.
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thankful
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Posted:Nov 26, 2015 7:01 pm
Last Updated:Dec 17, 2015 6:13 pm 20795 Views
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i am thankful that god has given me food to sustain my life all these years, a warm place to sleep. my family, and my chrisian family, and my portion of faith and grace. I am SO blessed. thank you god and jesus, I am gratedul
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chicago snow is back
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Posted:Nov 22, 2015 6:52 pm
Last Updated:Dec 13, 2015 7:46 pm 21810 Views
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last winter was really rough on me. I remember the first snow fall, it was like an omen. I had a horrible time and thought I had a stroke. at the least I was miserably depressed and losing my mind.it turned out to be an attack of ms that wasn't even on my mind at that time.
it snowed really bad here Friday night. I tried not to let it make me crazy, and there wasn't much snow sticking Saturday morning. so I went thru with an early morning appointment I had for a leadership class with my church that was across town. it was find going there, but it snowed all day that I was in the class, and when I got out it was terrible out. it took me 2 hours to get home.
but I didn't completely freak out. god was with me. 
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healing
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Posted:Nov 18, 2015 6:14 pm
Last Updated:Nov 23, 2015 6:25 pm 22990 Views
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I have been feeling better lately. thank you god.
I am STILL bored and lonely and watching TOO much tv,
but I have been feeling more myself and less lost.
I feel like I'm gonna make it.
thank you god, thank you all for your support
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forgiving
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Posted:Nov 11, 2015 6:21 pm
Last Updated:Nov 18, 2015 6:11 pm 22798 Views
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i need to be forgiving the way I have been forgiven.
I am still finding I am getting mad at stupid little things and having trouble letting things go.
forgive me lord. I deserve the worst and you have blessed me.
help me forgive those who wrong me. free me from my anger.
thank you jesus
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despair
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Posted:Oct 30, 2015 8:39 am
Last Updated:May 15, 2024 7:16 am 21724 Views
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i have been in the habit of watching james mcdonald on walk in the word as i have my breakfast every morning before my day begins; sometimes he is right on the money with me & god. today's sermon was a repeat of yesterday and was about despair. he uses the exodus passage for illustration and says that the minute we lose sight of god in our lives and all the miracles he has done for us, we begin to fear and despair. the isrealites were grumbling to moses "did they not have enough graves in egypt that we need to come to the wilderness to die?"
that hit home with me this day. have i forgotten about all the times god has seen me thu hard times? he is always faithful, he is always there. i have been SO blessed.
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house/church?
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Posted:Oct 2, 2015 12:03 pm
Last Updated:Oct 5, 2015 6:31 pm 26751 Views
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there is a an offer on my house/church. i have prayed on it, i think i am going to take it.
it is in your hands god.
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anxiety
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Posted:Sep 28, 2015 11:38 am
Last Updated:Oct 6, 2015 7:51 pm 27157 Views
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i have been struggling through anxiety as a result of my illness. i am not sure if it is an actual symptom of the ms, my neurologist says not, or it is due to the problems with having to deal with the disease. i have a friend having much more problems with the disease than i am having who also has a lot of anxiety and they say it IS the disease. i have been finding a lot of research backing up that the disease itself can cause anxiety and depression.
i have been trying to fight thru the brane pain with god's help, rather than using anti depression meds.
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