Things that move my heart.....
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Posted:Sep 12, 2007 12:03 am
Last Updated:Sep 17, 2007 5:19 pm 1778 Views
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the sound of the restless wind thru the trees,
a single raindrop,
a ladybug skittering on a leaf,
an autumn night with the dark sky overflowing with stars....
a with an expectant look and eyes so large I loose myself..
a hand to hold...
God who speaks clearly to me when I cant get it....
light reflected on the water..
the smell of wet leaves after the rain..
friends who listen to me when I feel all is lost
to see someone give of themself until it hurts....
a full harvest moon...
a song that makes me cry
who know how to hug well
An Almighty God who broke loose out of time to give up His to bring us back home...
How about you????
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peace, mercy, growth
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Posted:Sep 6, 2007 9:37 pm
Last Updated:Sep 7, 2007 2:49 pm 1922 Views
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well. back again. these thoughts have been brewing for awhile. hope to get some consistency here. last couple months it seems I've been getting God mail. In the form of learning servanthood, gentleness, kindness , agape love to others and first and foremost to myself. Ive been thinking on all these heroes who served and serve God . The biggest thing they have is their humility and willingness to lay down their self-absorption to become nothing. In becoming nothing they gain more peace and fulfillment for themselves . This comes only in ways they cannot create for themselves. Once they laid down their desire to make themselves God can begin the process . This process of course is on -going and life-long. I think and think on this. I pray . I dont want to lose my own self-made life and plans but in doing so, when i let go the steering wheel God takes me a new, more blessed, fulfilling direction. To give me the things I truly desire deep within. This is incredibly difficult......
but ahead... i see a glimpse of light.. of things hoped for and not yet accomplished. This God who knows me better than I know myself will not leave it unfinished...........
So, i must stay on my knees,in humility to this God who loves, loves, loves me even to the loss of my old self...
Is it possible here and now......??????
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who do we want to hit 2
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Posted:Aug 8, 2007 12:33 am
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2007 9:21 pm 1563 Views
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Missed a bit. The most important part actually. So for those who have been hurt or are still hurting. Jesus doesnt reject you or condemn you for what has happened in your past or is happening now. If people condemn or harass you . Dont get caught up in their pitiful form of life. Move on. Jesus holds your hands. Jesus has forgiven you and given you greater life and wants to lead you into greater peace and joy. Devil wants to drag you down and stomp the life out of you. Jesus, however, will not do that. His whole purpose , His whole reason for creation is to show you a greater life, a whole life, a life or direction and happiness. Dont condemn yourself. Accept His leading in your life and a whole new world will be opened up. Open the door. He is waiting on the other side.
Enter in with a happy heart!!!
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who do we want to hit???
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Posted:Aug 6, 2007 4:53 am
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2007 9:24 pm 1642 Views
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I was thinking this morning about the woman who was to be stoned. It made me wonder.....that the people who wanted to see her stoned and who were being encouraged to stone her. Maybe ....as the people would have thrown their stones...just maybe ...they were rocks they had piled up inside to hurl at themselves. All this anger and fear bottled up for years on end. If Jesus had not stepped in and said a few words,, simple but powerful.. You who are without sin.. cast the first stone. As I think about this I can see the same behaviour in me..Angry, hurtful, fearful emotions come from behaviours I have stored up in me. I guess we all have the same.Its so healing to see Jesus step into this confused , incited crowd(sound familiar???)and with a few well chosen words watch these people drop their rocks, looking ashamed and shuffle away, eyes down. Powerful message.Yet more than that, there is not finally blame here but ultimate forgiveness. Forgiveness the men clothed in religion and ritual could never offer. He walks bathed in Forgiveness eternally for all generations. A Healing religion, knowledge, behavioural science, politics, the Bowflex, or the Almighty Dollar cannot offer. Some of these people simply picked up rocks laying randomly around them. However, others, had been sharpening their rocks for years and saving them up . They caressed their more advanced rocks, eagerly awaiting the time they would have the delicious opportunity to use them on an unwary victim.Well, I think we should not use these rocks on ourselves, our our souls , psyches, are hurt too much already. Neither should we keep them for others . Does it really resolve our pain when we hurl them at others. It just causes more pain, that goes on..well.. and you know the story.
Maybe, just maybe we should let it be and let go of the hurt. Wouldnt it be amazing, wonderful, magical to see healing flowing instead of pain damming up the waters of life. How can we try this .Well. Look at Jesus. Didnt it work for Him.. could it work for us????Maybe... just a step..
Peace
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Entering In........
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Posted:Jul 12, 2007 7:49 pm
Last Updated:Jul 13, 2007 3:47 pm 1607 Views
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Well.. right now.. lifes pretty tough and all mixed up. I trying to finish divorce.. look intently for work .. stay in a peace zone and look after my two girls. I have never been so pulled all over. Its so interesting though inspite of all this strange stuff happening God has been just there. leading me. speaking quietly to me.. and filling me with this indescribable calm comfort. So I have never known this before. When I stay in the rest of it God just keeps drawing me in deeper. When I get there I dont want to move out of this amazing , great place. When Im in it I sense this Deep Love of God encompassing and coming all around me. I am surprised. I feel like Im water....flowing with other drops of water and joining into one powerful moving river.. flowing onward to the Great Ocean. Well I can tell you this is definitely the place I want to be. Im not jumping out of this. I was at work today and felt so stressed and all the thoughts of all the stuff Im in... but God spoke to me to pray and meditate and just rest. and when I did.. well it was like a whole new world opening up. I again felt like I could join hands with other people praying. Like Wow.. It was so wide and deep and blowing me away. I could almost hear their prayers and the coolest thing was that all these prayers joined together and made a totally amazing living thing.. like a Tree. ...maybe an oak or Weeping Willow......
sometimes when we are really quiet.. we hear more..
Peace, your sister, Lisa
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down and out
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Posted:May 5, 2007 6:03 pm
Last Updated:Jun 3, 2007 4:28 pm 1911 Views
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I have not been feeling very good emotionally and am pretty discouraged that pretty much everything in my life is not going up but going down. I am really discouraged with myself and my many failures. I have been looking hard at my life the past couple years and I dont see that I have made any progress at all. I am angry and frustrated with even with all the work I have done I dont seem to be any further ahead from a few years back . I feel like Alice on the chess board just running and running so very hard to stay in the same place. I dont really see that I will get out of the min. wage job I am at. I was happy with it at the beginning but now I am only frustrated. I feel that I have failed my wonderful girls and my whole family because of the foolish things I have done that I cant get out of. I believe in God and up until now had believed in myself but I dont see that anything good will come of my life and directions. I had been trying to help and encourage others but it is all I can do to keep myself going to work and just feeling irritated and worthless now. I dont know what has happened to the former strength and optimism I so recently had.I feel like I am just living marginally. I dont feel like running awayy or taking my life but I just feel terribly discouraged that all that once was so promising in my life is all gone even though I have tried to get it back. What can I do. Please I need help right now .
Sincerely,, Lisa(GG777)
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some thoughts
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Posted:Mar 22, 2007 7:10 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2007 9:17 am 1653 Views
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I haven't been here in awhile . I feel like I am coming to a point in my Spiritual Journey. My life is really turned upside down right now.I am progressing on the divorce but there is so much weirdness, and rushing and confusion sometimes. Inspite of all of this( and trying to get a more complimentary job) I sense a deep flowing Peace within my soul, the very depth of my being.I feel like I am finding my wholeness outside of myself. I sense a Presence much, much larger than myself drawing me on the Road I am travelling. I am not moving very fast I think but the God Presence tells me that I am travelling at the very right speed I should be. I feel myself being connected to the very thing I need. To the very thing I have been searching for all along. I feel a lightness in my Soul when I stop to meditate and pray. I feel hands guiding me to how I should be. Not necessarily where I am going but how I am to be in my behaviour and personality and how I am .. how I act. I feel like the distance I have put between me and God is being taken away. I feel like I can just reach out and touch Him.. and know Him . I know that He already knows all of me( and better ..lol.. accepts all of me.. the good, the bad . and the ugly.). I feel no shame in this.. I am totally at ease.. more at ease with God than I have ever been with any person in my whole life of 45 years. I am excited, amazed , and honoured by this. I just want to stay in this Peaceful, gentle zone and desire in my heart of hearts to share this with people close to me and those I dont know well. I desire to look deeper into God , myself and others and I desire to see people who are hurting , struggling, searching, grieving, and people who see them selves as failures with failed lives and to see them as God sees them. God sees them with such compassion and all encompassing kindness and mercy. I will never get all of these qualities or understand them on this fragile Earth. However, I can let them live and grow in my Soul because they have taken root deeply. I strongly believe that this amazing plant will continue to grow and spread in my life and in others until we can all see each other clearly and with greater than 100 % acceptance and vulnerability. I see how this love and grace and mercy can wash away all the wrong and fear and hatred and grasping that people throughout the centuries have created. I want to keep tasting this and knowing that this is good. ...The more I taste it the more I am cleansed and filled. Lord, help me let go of me more.. and let myself be filled with You . Amen.
Joyfulness, Lisa(GG777)
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another muse from me.....
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Posted:Feb 23, 2007 5:02 pm
Last Updated:Jun 23, 2007 5:29 pm 1768 Views
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Well, its been probably one of the longest, most painful , revealing weeks of my life. I have been dealing with so many things in regards to the divorce that we (my ex, and my two girls) have been going through. I am reading a book by John Ortberg called, "Everybody's normal Till you get to know them". I am doing alot of soul or should I say spirit searching in myself. I am finding that in reading this book there are parts of myself I hide from others near to me and sometimes from myself as well. I especially find that they two negative behaviours that really affect large parts of my life. These behaviours are anger and fear. I did not really realize how many times my life was moved by anger and fear . With the anger I felt powerful but with the fear I felt powerless. It's kind of strange really how these two opposite behaviours can be such a large, negative part of my life. As I look back over my life I see how much damage these behaviours have done. I did not realize that I was so under control by these behaviours and when I let them loose so to speak they gradually started to control me. I realize that I cannot win over these behaviours on my own. I need God's help and I need to give these completely up to God to battle and defeat them. I have tried to battle these myself many times my whole life but they never went away. I want to be free from these behaviours and see that God is doing the work in me. As I pray and daily (or more often) release these to God He will set me free totally from them. I want to be free from these not only for my own well being but for the improved well being of those around me. I can see that there are many benefits that will have a domino effect on those around me. I am thinking that if we all were able to release the things that tie us down that we would be able to attain that state of perfect unity that God desires.I am going to be diligent to let God work in these negative areas of my life. I hope you who are reading this get encouragement and faith that God wants to free you from these behaviours that burden you . God is desiring to see us freed individually and to see people of this great big world in unity..
What do you say???
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closer to God, God closer to me and you too
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Posted:Feb 7, 2007 5:15 pm
Last Updated:Jun 23, 2007 5:29 pm 1808 Views
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Well, I have been thinking along time about this blog. I really didn't know what I was going to write here;however , here goes. I have been thinking alot lately of how God has been leading directly in my life. I have never realized that an Almighty , Omnipotent, Omniscient God could be bothered to deal with such an easily frustrated, temperamental , sometimes immature one such as I . But every morning when I get up and pray a quick prayer I suddenly sense a Presence there. This God is close and caring for me and for you too if you don't know Him. He is not difficult to reach because God does 99 per cent of the reaching. This is what I have been thinking. That God wants to be united with us and every day He pours His love out on us like sweet honey that gives meets our hunger and also gives us energy to get through the day.. not just dragging our butts but..so that we are bouncing in the door with a smile on our faces at the end of the day. This is the kind of God I now know and who never stops persisting to draw the lost to Him.. so He can heal their hearts and wounds that are seen and unseen. This Love has prior to this seemed so unreal and unbelievable to me but NOW... is the most real part of my life. So every day I am happy and rejoice in this. And I want to share this JOY and HAPPINESS with all who don't know it. I used to go out and "witness" whenI was a but it never really worked. This is because I didn't have His JOY deep in my Spirit like I do now. That has made all the difference in my life now. It's like I can feel His warmth and Love irradiating from deep inside of me somewhere. I know that this LOVE has changed my life permanently now . I have been changed and will NEVER go back. It's pretty amazing to me and I'm so in Love with this same Jesus. I pray that these words I have wrote will encourage you to trust this Lord Jesus who is real and exists beyond what we know in our life-times. My prayers are with you all daily.. God bless you all..
Sincerely, Lisa(gg777)
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Never Ending Joy
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Posted:Dec 28, 2006 10:49 am
Last Updated:Jan 17, 2007 1:58 pm 1732 Views
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To all my dearest friends,
I have been growing so much in God since I've come to BC. So I just had to share how God continues to lead me as I humble myself to Him daily and daily put on the armour of God and let His Holy Love shine through my life. I rejoice every day that He keeps my feet on His path for me. He holds my hand so tight and lovingly. I feel His Presence so close to me daily and His presence is a gentle, loving Presence. I used to run away and try and make my own way but I always seemed to come back to HIm no matter how far or hard I ran. He always has been calling me even when I was far away. Now though I am the one who doesn't want to leave His presence because He is so wonderful and loving and gentle. He speaks quietly to me and tells me how to go and puts words in my mouth to speak to the lost, the questioning, the confused, the empty , the hurting, and the frustrated. I cannot explain how great this is to have this deep connection. As I read His Holy Word and pray and sit in His presence His filling in my life becomes greater and keeps filling up the emptiness and helping me throw away all the things that don't complete or satisfy my soul. I am growing less concerned with things and possessions and more hungry for His Joy , Grace, Mercy, Compassion, Love to share, Wisdom and wonder as a . I am learning the things to hold on to and nuture are the things that can't be seen or held. These are the things I want to share and give and so in giving I am blessed with more of the same. It's funny really how God works that.
I am so blessed in ways I can't say.
Peace and Joy and Love my dear friends,
Lisa (gg777)
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