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A life of twists; Why is the church so tough? "What does not break you, makes you strong!" In 1989, a friend went through a tough situation. She was a born again christian then but found herself pregnant having succumbed to the devil's tricks. Her boyfriend then was a fellow believer (youth pastor) who had convinced her to 'give it up' since "all was okay as long as what was done was through love" and 'God who is "Love" could not possibly be against that!' Young girl (I'll call her "X"), a in high school only realised she was pregnant 4months later and went into a panick. She was then in her final year and in a boarding school. She was a chapel aide and a christian leader of some sort at school and her sin was going to be a big blow to her fellowship. The school rules meant her future education was to end there if she were found out. The home front held no hope for her cause her fate was an exile (to the village) if discovered to be pregnant. Her cry to God for help then went unanswered and the guilt of sin was so heavy that prayer was virtually useless since all she could see was her guilt and its evidence. The situation was bleak and as a friend I had no answers either. X came from a poor but proud family and on our own secretely, we were unable to find a solution to her dilemma. She told me first and though Iwas shocked, I loved her so much to feel anything else but love for her and a deep fear for my friend. We fasted, prayed, pleaded for death to come earlier but all failed. eventually, X chose to throw herself at the mercy of the school administration. She chose to reveal her sin to her teachers and seek their help. She knew they would be disappointed in her but to soften their pain, she chose to tell them herself before rumours did it for her. "It was like getting out of the boat and walking on water" BUT; The miracle started then! When the teachers chose to defy the school rules and risk their careers/jobs for her I saw the love of God take charge of the situation. They chose to stand up for her and force the school leaders to keep her on for the remaining three months she still had to complete her education or else they all resign from the school. This plan to help my frightened friend through this tough situation succeeded with the school authorities but the school administration demanded that she publicly confess her sin before the entire school during the next school assembly and ask her fellow students to accept her presence in their midst for the remaining time she was going to be an "ugliness" before them. Before the assembly, she went to inform our christian fellowship members and seek their forgiveness for her betrayal, and possibly get some help and support. For me, this was the most disappointing experience to date! She went to her brethren in fear and shame,confessed her sin and she was put through a "wringer"! The leadership demanded that she "tell all" so that she could be forgiven and when she did, all hell broke loose. The sin became "bigger" and the "sinners" more that one. The fellowship's response was banishment from the fellowship so as "to make their stand clear that sin would not be tolerated lest others chose to follow the same road". After the school assembly which was to me "a nightmare of terror and pain" that I pray no one should never have to go through especially when pregnant, the school was aflame with gossip and slander. The confessions made in christian fellowship found there way to the non-christian populace and the saga exploded. The rumour and stories therafter were so bizzare that life for X in this single-girls' school was a trial by fire. It beats my mind how she could stand it for the next three months that she was with us until the end. She lost all but one of her christian friends, me; she was more alone and for a bubbly personality with no friends or christian fellowship, the situation was a hell or sorts but it grew even worse when she started "showing". I learnt a hard lesson from her experiences during that last term, that made me wonder why the christian treatment is even tougher than the "world". I learnt alot from her loneliness, sadness and loss because I felt what she missed the most was the fellowship of belivers and tangible forgiveness. Her life after school was even harder and when she had her twin babies, she was exiled from home and her life turned real bad but she did not forsake her faith. It is over 18years now and she is a mature woman with plenty of wisdom and a pleasant life now but to this day my heart still wonders about the grace that kept her strong all through those hard times. I still see many examples of a church that is still hard and unforgiving despite the many exhotations in the Bible to forgive one another. What do you think about this experience, about forgiving the sin and punishing the sinner? Is it right to treat the girl like the plague and the boy as a victim? What is church love? X is a believer still but she still "fears" the church and I worry about her. Is there a better church out there or am I a dreamer? I still hold this hope for those whose sin is evident and ugly; God cares and forgives truly. Even when your own and the world forsake you, hold on to him and believe in His redemption. The sun will shine again. I share this not only to ask for answers and get your comments but also to encourage anyone who may identify with this story to keep hanging on. Life is not straight but its the twists that make it colourful and interesting. God bless you all. Jude 24-25. Amen! |
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God bless you dear.... your words and prayers mean a lot. Thank you for sharing your friend's experience!
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8/27/2008 2:56 pm |
They were just not following The Word of God. Sadly, many churches in America don't. It's apostasy just like all the occultic, mystical or money-grubbing church out there. This church just specialized in being mean. Like Meow said..DISCERN. It's so important!
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