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| Blogs > Pattymint > FROM MY HEART TO YOURS |
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FROM MY HEART TO YOURS FROM MY HEART TO YOURS TO ALL WHO PASS THIS WAY AND STOP AND READ I THANK YOU AND BLESS YOU. MY PRECIOUS HUSBAND, RAYMOND AND I WERE MARRIED ON SEPTEMBER 14, 1985 AND HE PASSED AWAY 20 MONTHS ….. NOVEMBER 10, 2004. WE HAD NO TOGETHER AND HE WAS MY LUV AND HE WAS MY LIFE AND I HIS. I NOW CAN TALK ABOUT HIS PASSING AS IF HE WAS STILL LIVING. FIVE YEARS BEFORE HE PASSED AWAY HE HAD BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH LUNG CANCER, OPERATED ON AND GIVEN A 10 % CHANCE TO MAKE IT 5 YRS. (HE MADE IT NOT QUITE 5 YEARS) AS WE CRIED IN EACH OTHERS ARMS AND HELPED EACH OTHER THROUGH THE FIRST BLUNT OF THE NEWS, HE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID “LUV WHETHER I LIVE OR WHETHER I DIE, I LIVE UNTO THE LORD AND I DIE UNTO THE LORD.” THAT WAS ONE OF THE MOST HARDEST THINGS THAT I HAD TO DO WAS TO BRING MYSELF TO GET TO WHERE HE WAS WITHIN HIMSELF. IT DID NOT COME EASY, BUT I AM GRATEFUL THAT I ALLOWED IT TO COME. WE DECIDED TO MAKE EVERYDAY AS IF IT WAS HIS LAST DAY UPON THIS EARTH. WE SHARED MUCH TOGETHER, BUT LEFT GO OF ALL THE SILLY STUFF THAT REALLY DOES NOT MATTER AND SHOULD NOT HAVE MATTERED TO BEGIN WITH. WE WENT PLACES TOGETHER THAT WE HAD NEVER GONE BEFORE AND LOOKED AT EACH OTHERS HEARTS AS WE TRULY HAVE NEVER LOOKED UPON THEM BEFORE. IT BECAME SO AWESOMELY INTIMATE THAT IT WAS SO HARD TO TAKE AT TIMES AND I AM NOT EVEN TALKING IN A SEXUAL WAY, AS INTIMACY IS JUST IN KNOWING ONE ANOTHER SO WELL THAT NOT EVEN A WORD HAS TO BE SPOKEN AND YOU WILL KNOW EACH OTHERS THOUGHTS OR JUST THE VERY TOUCH OFONE ANOTHER.AS TIME GREW ON AND THINGS GOT CLOSER ABOUT 6 MONTHS BEFORE HE WAS PROMOTED (PASSED ON) HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH BRAIN CANCER AND WE KNEW THEN THAT THIS TIME HE WAS GOING SOON. HE ALWAYS LOVED THE DALLAS COWBOYS AND ONE OF HIS DREAMS WAS THAT HE GO TO THEIR STADIUM SO WHEN MY (HIS STEPSON) HEARD THIS NEWS HE DID NOT EVEN TELL US BUT HE BOOKED A FLIGHT AND HE AND MY GUY FLEW TO DALLAS FOR A GAME AND HE SO PROUDLY STOOD IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT FIELD AND WITH TEARS RUNNING DOWN HIS FACE, SAID A DREAM HAS COME TRUE. MY HUSBAND WAS A MAN OF FEW WORDS BUT HIS FEW WORDS WERE MOST VALUABLE AND CARRIED MUCH WISDOM. RAYMOND, WAS MUCH OLDER THAN I AND HE CARRIED THE SCARS OF WORLD WAR II AND SUFFERED MUCH FROM THEM AND I ENCOURAGE ANY VET THAT IS SUFFERING TO GO AND SEEK HELP SO THAT YOU CAN START TO HEAL. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG, THE WRONG WAS DONE TO YOU AND I AM SO GLAD THAT MY HUSBAND DID AND HE HEALED MUCH AS SO DID I. HE OFTEN TRIED TO FIND HIS BEST FRIEND FROM THE SHIP THAT HE WAS ON IN WORLD WAR II, LST-611 IN PHILIPPINE ISLANDS, BUT NEVER HAD ANY LUCK THERE, IT WAS ABOUT 4 MONTHS BEFORE HE LEFT US THAT WE FINALLY, ACCIDENTALLY, BUT GOD KNEW ALL THE TIME, FOUND OUT WHERE HIS BEST FRIEND WAS. WE MADE PLANES TO SEE HIM THAT FOLLOWING YEAR, HOWEVER WE KNEW IN OUR HEARTS THAT HE WOULD NOT BE HERE TO DO SO. BUT MY AGAIN, CAME THROUGH, HE FLEW US BOTH TO MINNESOTA TO VISIT HIS SHIPMATE AND WE SPENT 5 DAYS WITH HIM, I’LL TELL YOU, RAYMOND WAS LIKE A LITTLE . I SAT AND LISTENED TO THEM AND WAS NEVER BORED. JUST SO HAPPY THAT HE WAS SO HAPPY IN DOING THIS AND FINALLY AFTER 60 YEARS JUST BEING ABLE TO BE WITH HIS BEST FRIEND TO ME BLEW MY MIND, I LOVED SEEING THEM SMILING, LAUGHING, AND YES EVEN CRYING TOGETHER OVER THE LOSS OF THEIR SHIPMATES AND FRIENDS. ABOUT 1 MONTH LATER, HE GOT REAL SICK AND THAT IT WAS GETTING CLOSER TO HIS END. IT WAS NOW TIME TO DO MORE RADIATION TREATMENTS WHICH HE DID, AS I STOOD WITH HIM AND SUPPORTED WHAT HE WANTED. I COULD SEE HIM GETTING WEAKER BY THE DAY. MY HEART WAS BREAKING AND YET LOVING SO VERY MUCH AT THE SAME TIME. AS WEEKS PASSED HE HAD NOW HAD TO GO INTO THE HOSPITAL AND IT WAS THERE THAT I COULD SEE THE DEATH STAGES APPROACHING AS HE LAY THERE. WE BOTH TALKED ABOUT THE SIGNS SHOWING ON HIS BODY THAT WERE TELLING US IT WOULD BE SOON, HE SAID “LUV, PLEASE TAKE ME HOME BECAUSE THAT IS WHERE I WANT TO DIE.” WELL THE DOCTORS DID NOT WANT TO LET HIM GO. HE SAID “LUV I WILL NEVER MAKE IT HOME, WILL I?” I REPLED, “OH YES YOU WILL.” IT WAS A STRUGGLE; I FOUGHT UNTIL THEY RELEASED HIM TO ME TO TAKE HIM HOME. SO HOME HE WAS, AS WE TALKED I ASKED HIM IF HE COULD PLEASE IF AT ALL POSSIBLE LET ME KNOW WHEN IT WAS TIME FOR HIM TO GO AND HE SAID HE WOULD. HIS LAST WORDS TO ME WERE “THANK YOU, I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO LOVED BY ANYONE AS I HAVE BEEN BY YOU AND YOUR .” THE DAY HE LEFT HE WAS IN A COMA AND COULD NOT SPEAK TO ANYONE. AS MY AND I SAT IN THE SUN ROOM TOGETHER, I FELT I NEEDED TO GO TO HIM, SO I SAID TO MY “LETS GO TO AND CHECK ON HIM.” SO AS I WENT IN THE ROOM I KNELT DOWN BY HIS HEAD HER AT HIS KNEES, I STARTED TO STROKE HIS HAIR AND RUN MY FINGERS THROUGH IT, THEN I STARTED TO SING ONE OF HIS FAVORITE COURSES AND MY JOINED WITH ME, "JESUS THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT THAT NAME", AS I SANG HE CAME OUT OF THE COMA AND STARTED TO SING WITH ME I CONTINUED TO SING AS SO DID HE AND ON THE 3RD TIME SINGING THIS SONG HE JUST WENT AND IT WAS SO AWESOMELY BEAUTIFUL AND I WAS SO HONORED THAT HE WANTED ME THERE WHEN HE LEFT AND THAT MY LORD ALLOWED ME TO HAVE SUCH AN HONOR TO HAVE HELPED HIM FROM THIS WORLD TO THE NEXT AND I WAS SO PLEASED THAT MY HAD GOTTEN TO SEE IN REALITY WHAT IS SO REAL. SHE TOLD ME UPON HIS LEAVING THAT SHE WAS HAVING DOUBTS THAT GOD EXISTED BECAUSE SHE LOVED HIM SO MUCH AND PRAYED THAT HE COULD BE WELL AND STAY, BUT THAT DID NOT HAPPEN, HOWEVER, UPON SEEING HIS GOING AND COMING OUT OF THE COMA AND SINGING WITH US SHE SAID I WILL NEVER DOUBT AGAIN. AT MY HUSBAND REQUEST, IT WAS I THAT HE WANTED TO DO HIS FUNERAL. HE SAID NO ONE ELSE KNEW HIM AS I AND NO ONE COULD DO IT AS I COULD, SO I GAVE IT MY BEST AND NOT THE EASIEST THING TO DO, BUT YOU KNOW AS I STARTED TO SPEAK AT HIS FUNERAL AND AS I DID HIS LITURGY A DIFFERENT KIND OF PEACE CAME OVER ME AND I KNEW THAT WE EVEN SHARED THIS, EVEN THOUGH I WAS DOING THE SPEAKING, AS I SANG UNTO MY HUSBAND AT HIS FUNERAL, OUR HEARTS TOUCHED EVEN ONE MORE TIME, AS I TOUCHED HIS HEART AND HIS MINE, WE KNEW THAT WE HAD TRAVELED A ROAD THAT FEW HAVE FOUND AND WE SHARED ALL OUR HIDDEN TREASURES EVEN UNTO THE VERY END, WHICH IN RETURN IS ACTUALLY THE VERY BEGINNING. MY HUSBAND GAVE THE PUREST LOVE, IT WAS UNCONDITIONAL AND TRUE. HIS PASSING WAS A GREAT LOSS, BUT HE HAS LEFT US A LEGACY, HIS LOVE, TO CARRY US THROUGHOUT OUR LIFETIME. I THANK MY WONDERFUL FOR THE LOVE THAT THEY GAVE TO THIS MAN AND THEY GAVE IT WITH ALL OF THEIR HEARTS TO A STEP-DAD AND WERE ALWAYS THERE FOR HIM AS HE WAS FOR THEM, HE WAS SO HONORED AND LOVED THEIR LOVE. I THANK MY FOR ALL THEIR WONDERFUL SUPPORT OF ME AND I THANK MY FOR GIVING HER TIME AND LOVE TO HELP HER STEP-DAD AS SHE CHANGED HIM AND TURNED HIM AND DID THE THINGS THAT I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO DO WITHOUT HURTING HIM WITH THE MOVING OF HIM. SHE WAS IN THE NURSING FIELD SHE GAVE HER WHOLE SELF TO HIM IN HONOR. I HOPE YOU DO NOT MIND MY SHARING THIS, I ALSO HOPE THAT YOU ALL LEARN AS I HAVE HOW IMPORTANT EACH OTHER ARE AND HOW IMPORTANT TIME REALLY IS, YOU DON'T LIVE FOR THE MOMENT EITHER, BUT RATHER, YOU LIVE FOR THE MOMENTS THAT YOU HAVE WITH EACH OTHER. SHARE WHAT IS INSIDE, SO IT CAN GLOW WITHIN SOMEONE ELSE. IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN HURT, YOU CAN NEVER TRULY LEARN HOW TO LOVE. GOD BLESS YOU ALL. LOVINGLY PATTIE 
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7/17/2006 11:34 am |
Dear Pattie-- Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate that you took the time to not only tell us about your life, but to invite us in with such detail. I hope you will find this to be a place of fellowship and friendship. Thank you for reminding me of what is most important in life...love. Blessings-- RiverMercy
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7/17/2006 11:41 am |
DEAR PATTIE....YOU ARE A BLESSED WOMAN.... MARIA
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7/17/2006 11:47 am |
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for sharing your heart. It appears you two did indeed have the love of a lifetime. You were surely blessed. You will see each other again.! Welcome to the land of blogs. Be blessed as you wander through our little corner of cyber space.  Elizabeth
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you have been greatly blessed to have a husband like that and a marriage like that..I often feel sorry for myself that I have never had that kind of experience but to lose that most precious one would be the loneliest thing I could possibly imagine..it was good of you to share your wonderful and tragic experiences and I pray that God wrap you up in His love and comfort and it is comforting to know that our loved ones are with Him and having a wonderful time even if we do miss them so terribly much..I hope you can find true love again..my sister was a young widow and is now with her second true love..I have yet to experience that
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7/17/2006 6:12 pm |
About the only thing I can say is WOW,WOW,WOW,WOW,WOW. You have the love that most of us only dream of. Take comfort my sister, you will see him again. Just awesome, Donny
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What a BEAUTIFUL story! God Bless You!
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