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Something To Think About We've all heard the expression "You can't judge a book by it's cover" and there may be some truth to it. We also can't judge a character by it's title. An important question we have to ask ourselves is are we willing to date someone just because they call themselves a "Christian"? We may also look for chemistry and compatibility which do have their place but are these things enough for us to have a life long healthy relationship with our spouse? The title "Christian" is a very honorable title. For the past 2000 years people have given up their very lives for the sake of that one word. The word itself means to be "Christ-like". That is, our character should reflect the character of Jesus. He lived a life of love so we should live a life of love. He was compassionate so we should be compassionate and so on. Jesus Christ is the standard of which our lives are built upon. In the back of my mind I used to think (but I would never say aloud) yeah I know Jesus was perfect but you can't expect me to be. He's God and I'm not so get off my back. Of course this conversation was only played out in my head. It was just my flesh trying to justify to my conscience that my sinful expressions of my old rebellious nature were acceptable. After many years of continual heartbreak, pain, and suffering, God had mercy on me and showed me the error of my selfish ways. The first step in looking for a mate begins not with a list of qualities we look for(and yes I do have a list myself)but it begins with looking into the mirror. Do we reflect who we say we are? Are we really living a life of love? Are we using what we know about God and human nature just to get something from someone else? Personally I long to marry a woman of God. Marriage should be a wonderful expression of unconditional love. I've seen some great marriages and not so great marriages. I have failed miserably in my own not so much because I wasn't seeking God but more because I didn't use His wisdom in making better choices. I allowed my flesh to drive me in my decision making process rather than the Spirit of God. Now God is not a brute. He will warn us if we are traveling down a destructive path but He won't force us to obey Him. Obedience is a choice we still have to make that grows out of a heart of gratitude and love. Often though it's not the way we choose to live. If we make a serious mistake, yes God will forgive us but not with the attitude "I told you so you loser". Rather with the attitude of a broken hearted father just waiting to wrap His loving arms around us. Even now as I write this my heart is sad realizing that I haven't spent enough time with Him today and I miss Him. We may say that we want to make better choices but are we really willing to do so? We often use our lack of information to wander around aimlessly just waiting for a miracle to fall out of the sky. We may want God's will for our lives but do we know what that is? What does His will for us look like? One of God's main goals for us is to be conformed into the image of Christ. We are in a sense to be "little jesus'" everywhere we go. So when I look for my future queen can I see Jesus in her? Does the light of God shine through her personality, into her character, out through her actions, changing the world around her. Does her life reflect the confession of faith that she proclaims? A woman like that deserves a real man of God. She is going to want someone, like her in a sense, that also looks like Jesus. So we men have to ask ourselves some important questions. Can she as a woman of God respect me not just when things are good but in the middle of a conflict. When we are having a strong difference of opinion will she display healthy conflict resolution or will she violate boundaries and turn and rip me to shreds. The real question we need to ask ourselves is how will I act in the middle of battle? Do i know how to control my temper? Do I manipulate abusively or motivate with love? Do I really know how to treat a wife the way the bible commands me to? Can I love her so unconditionally that even when we don't get along she will never even doubt that she is the most valuable person in the world to me? Jesus died for the church when the church hated Him. Can I die to my self absorbed way of living and lift this woman of God in front of me up to the point where she knows that she is my queen? Do I reflect what I believe? Am I really a man of God? So take another look at the list you may have in seeking a mate. Does a person like that deserve you or someone more mature than you? Do you live up to the same standard you silently desire from other people? Are you expecting too much or are you settling for less than your equal? Only you can answer these questions. I just throw them out for something to think about. |
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Coming from someone not in the dating format but as a blogging member.. Excellent posts and thoughts to ponder for people who have asked the Lord for a spouse our..believing Him for one. Good points Bio. Now get back to the Lord so He can give you more inspirational thoughts to share with us. 
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