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Blogs > DAngel73 > My Blog


DAngel73 50F
39 posts
4/30/2005 12:04 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:29 pm
Can we say a little prayer??
Hello everyone at Bigchurch,

I have been going through so much pain and heartache since my friend's recent death. I notice that my last post too didn't get many responses---it sure makes me wonder why. I travel through the site all around and I notice other's pain, whether it be from loneliness, or from situations within life. It makes my burden even heavier. It makes me even sadder. Then, I read the posts where there are so much disagreeing and arguing, and it causes my heart even more distress. My problems right now internally from my past and from God doing so many great things as far as change inside of me feels so tremendous, it's like I'm too flustered and overwhelmed to even post the way I want to---I can't think straight, I can't focus. Has anyone else ever gone through or felt so out of sinc?? To add to it all, I am seeking employment. How the despair causes such enormous distractions from the things I would like to do. It would be nice if everyone could sit back and reflect on their feelings, and place them in relation to what the rest of the world is going through. Could perhaps, everyone here pray for each other, not out of pride or duty, but out of sincere concern and love of Christ for each other?? Could perhaps, we, in all our crazy schedules or in and regardless of our strong opinions or ideas, take a deep breath and cast these things aside and really focus on how our brothers and sisters are fairing?? Believe me, these posts are getting more and more difficult for me, as my feelings are becoming numb and distant. There are so many things I would like to say and "get out" but its just not happening through my grief at the moment, I am so burned-out. I just keep thinking of how my friend was so lonely and struggling so much, but yet even the church and it's members couldn't reach him where he needed it the most---this is so sad.
4ewe 67F
Ask me for a photo

4/30/2005 10:47 am

 Hi d'Angel,
YOu say, "My problems right now internally from my past and from God doing so many great things as far as change inside of me feels so tremendous." I say, Praise God for the change that He is bringing about in you. Praise Him for the great things that He is doing."
I have been there...I had about 5 years that were so very difficult..and so many losses...but God brought about change, healing and cleansing in my life...healing that will continue until the day of his returning but is not longer so intense.
You will get through this..you will feel joy again...just rest in His love even if you feel numb at times, even if you feel anger and confusion..."trust in the LORD with ALL of your heart and don't lean on your own understanding."
I used to read the Psalms alot...inserting my name into them...I want to give you Psalm 91!
If you have access to a Christian library or bookstore I would love for you to read John Eldredge's book "Waking the Dead" and/or Steve McVey's "A Divine Invitation"

Lord, I just lift up d'Angel to you right now...you know her needs, her longings, her hurts and pains. I pray that you will protect her underneath the shelter of your wings...let her feel your presence in a very tangible way today. Give her the ability to hold onto Your strength when she feels weak...to be still (cease striving) and know that You are God even when things feel dark...give her the courage to keep walking into the darkness knowing that you WILL light her path as she walks forward trusting in You. Praise you Father for what you are doing in her life...Thank you that your word says that you long to have compassion on her...that she is the apple of Your eye. Thank you also that your word promises that you will complete the work that you have started in her...that You will NOT abandon her in the midst of it all. Praise you Father...in Jesus name.

Bruce Cockburn says in his song, "We are lovers in a dangerous time, nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight, we gotta keep kicking at the darkness until it bleeds daylight."

Keep kicking sister...and keep looking to God.