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Commitment and Covenant: For All (Part 13 and 14) Part 13  Ok, Committed and Covenant Segment 4. Going to wrap up this series on marriage, dating and relationships hopefully in a way that we will never forget because what we are going to talk about is very important. We been talking about how men need to be committed to loving their wives with the agape style love and women need to be committed to loving their husbands with the agape style of unconditional respect. And that is the love and respect cycle and we been breaking that down for the last 12 parts of this series. But the question that we want to talk about today is about commitment. I started the series to hopefully help all to realize a higher level of marriage or view of marriage than when you started reading these. And the word we been saying in the series is committed. Be committed to your spouse, be committed to your marriage, and be committed to God and marriage. But think about commitment. It is sort of a weird word right? It is sort of a word that maybe, maybe if we are honest, doesn’t really capture the true definition that God intends for when we talk about marriage. For example, there are a couple of things I have been committed to in my life that I am no longer committed to today. I use to be committed to wearing a tie always in church. I was sort of a tie-guy when I was in high school and went to synagogue and when I became a Christian and went to church. That was just the way I grew up, but that you wore ties in the house of the Lord. But I was committed to wearing ties, and I am not anymore. But I was committed because that is what you did. Another time I worked for the government and had a commitment to them. They paid for my pilot’s license and gave me a salary and once that commitment was filled I was done and it is something now that I tell stories about. There was a time I was committed to my wrestling team in school. I still have the uniform though I don’t look as good in tights now as I did then. I practiced and worked out for 4 years and I was committed to it. But after high school it was over. So my commitment to wrestling sort of went away. It was my season of my life and even if I wanted to today, I am not physically able to wrestle today. I wish I was but anyway I can’t. This paper I have here is a mortgage commitment or a contract. And this is a commitment you make until Jesus comes back, right, to pay this mortgage. That’s why we pray thy kingdom come so much. But, this is a mortgage, a commitment we’ve made and the funny thing is I want to get done with this commitment. These other commitments were season of life based and circumstance based and I am just not sure if that is what God means when he talks about marriage and what I would say today is that when God talks about marriage, he intends for a marriage to be way, way more than just a commitment. Because your commitments if you are honest, our commitments will change over time. They will sometimes change because of ability and you graduate from that and move on. They will change because you fulfilled them. They will change because of circumstances; they’ll change because they never fit who you are. But commitments over time just change. And we have all made commitments that we did not keep, right, or commitments that we could not keep. They just suddenly go away or get fulfilled or gets met and commitment just sort of moves and shifts and goes away. So we have all experienced the fact that commitment, maybe commitment when it comes to marriage is not a strong enough word. Maybe it is not a true enough word. Maybe it is not a word that is ideal enough that God intends for marriage to be. So we are going to look at 2 passages of scripture. The first is going to come from Matthew chapter 19, in which we sort of unravel some things and maybe clarify some things about marriage and if marriage is really, really a commitment. Now this is Jesus talking and so anytime Jesus is talking it puts a big stamp on it of hey PAY ATTENTION to this on it. He is talking to some religious people during the day and here is what he says, “ 4"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' 5and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? 6So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. ” In this brief passage of scripture, it gives us some things that I think we need to pay attention to. The first is that marriage is totally, totally 100 percent God’s idea. It is not the Supreme Court’s, it is not the government’s, it is not the culture’s, it is not even the husband-to-be’s or the wife-to-be’s. It is totally God’s idea. For this reason, the Creator created them, destined them to come together male and female uniquely created in His image to become one flesh. It is totally 100 percent God’s idea. Now here’s the problem. This is the problem whether you are married or not. If you want to be married, are married or you are wondering where your marriage went wrong, here’s the deal. Everybody has their idea about marriage. If you are single, “When I get married, he will…”, “and he’s going to be…”, “When I get married, she will…”, “she will always… and she will never…” And you got your hopes and your desires and your expectations and your dreams that you bring into marriage and your partner brings into marriage. Your idea of marriage may be very different than God’s idea of marriage. And that is what Jesus is saying. He is saying listen, listen, this is God’s idea. So we all stand at the altar and you got your hopes and expectations and he or she has their hopes and expectations, does all of that line up with what God says; because God says some very, very powerful things. Jesus right here says, “ 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother” And that word “leave” means “relinquish.” Means “let go of”. It means “that was the sort of relationship, now this one has priority.” You let go of that, you relinquish that, and cleave or cling or unite in marriage. And he uses the word “united”. And that means sort of “permanent bond” Adhere metal, weld together in a permanent bond. “And then the two shall become one flesh”. What that means is they become complete. They become partners for life. The amazing thing about this and just think about this for a second, is they create a new creation in marriage. Where two, male and female, become one. A new creation occurs in marriage. There is a new condition. It is not me and her, but it’s us. It’s we. It’s ours. Not his, not hers, but ours. We are one flesh, we become one. Now listen, this is so powerful. When you become a Christian, if you are a Christ follower, the Bible says you become a NEW CREATION. You are born again, not of man and your parents, but you are born again of God. Notice what Jesus is saying, you leave your parents and God makes you one with your spouse. New condition therefore a new creation. This explains if you have been divorced, this explains why it hurts so badly. Even in cases where it is allowed and justified, because God never intended for divorce, because what God makes one. What God creates, God creates things to be permanent. So when you get divorced even if it is justifiable, it hurts. Because you are unwanting or man is unwanting what God has made one. It’s a loss of identity; it is a loss of who you are. That is why divorce is so painful and why it hurts so much. And for the divorced people reading this I would say this, God’s truth of that passage is why it hurts so bad, and then God’s grace gives you healing in that storm. And he heals that bond that was never supposed to be separated but was. He heals that. But that is why it is so painful. When you get married at that altar, it is a merging of identities. And you would never want if you were a Christ follower, you would never want for God to renege, you would never want God to divorce you from eternal life would you. You would never want God to divorce you from the full and abundant life would you? It is the same parallel with marriage. When God creates something, he doesn’t create it for it to be desecrated. Who desecrates things? Sinners. So Jesus is saying look, two become one, and if you come into marriage with your idea and your and God’s idea does not line up. You are headed down a track that is just inconceivable. And God says that marriage is way, way more than a commitment. Part 14 And here is what God says about marriage, and this is so important that we have got to understand this. God doesn’t want us to use the word commitment. I want to introduce for this a new word when it comes to marriage. And the word is called, “COVENANT". Here’s what covenant means. Covenant means, “to cut”. The literally Hebrew meaning is, “to cut”. Here’s what that means. Back in the Old Testament or ancient times when two people made a promise, they would take an animal and cut it into two halves. And blood is everywhere. And they would walk between the two halves. Both them would walk between the two separated halves of the animal and what they were saying is, ”if I break this covenant, may be done to me, what has been done to this animal. Because in this covenant of land or in this covenant of money or whatever or in this covenant of marriage, we are one in this agreement and if we ever cut or break this covenant, it will be like what happened to this animal. And may that never happen is what they meant. And in the old days when the rabbis married two Jewish people, they would sometimes cut them and bring their hands together like when you become a blood brother, well if you were a guy you might have done that. They put them together to symbolize the blood, the life now flows in both, the two have become one. God is a covenant making God. God doesn’t make commitments. God makes covenants and I want to show you two examples of this in His word. First from Isaiah 54, this is amazing stuff and here is what God says about covenants, “ 5 For your Maker is your husband–” Your maker God, is your husband. Scares some of you but it is cool when we get to the end. “the LORD Almighty is his name– … 9 To me this is like the days of Noah, when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth. So now I have sworn not to be angry with you, never to rebuke you again. 10 Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my UN-FAIL-ING LOVE for you will not be shaken nor my COVENANT of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.” This is God, talking to the nation of Israel. And why do we call Israel God’s chosen people, and why is Israel the only nation that has existed for thousand and thousands of years STILL AROUND. Because God COVENANTED with them, and even in their rebellion, even in their stiff necked ness and their hard heartedness, God would not break covenant with them and they are still God’s chosen people, the Jewish people. And God says, I do not break covenant, my love is unfailing, though you may fail me, Israel, though you may go to war against me, I will be at peace with you because I am a covenant making, covenant keeping, covenant sealing God, and Lord, your maker is your husband. HELLO, he is also talking about MARRIAGE. That in marriage, love is to be unfailing, and peace is to be a covenant, because God is the designer of marriage and not you and I and God forsake, not the Supreme Court. He made it, and he designed it. It’s his. He covenanted it. And woe is it to us for having a cheapened and weakened view of marriage. Just like he said to Noah, never ever, ever will I flood the Earth and here’s the symbol, look at the rainbow. I covenant to be your God Israel. He goes on, Isaiah 62 and there is another covenant that the Bible talks about. So powerful when it comes to marriage and here is what it says, “ 4 No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah,” (means my delight is in her) “and your land Beulah” (Beulah means married) ; “for the LORD will take delight in you, and your land will be married. 6…as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.” Do you know why they fight for land in Israel? Because God covenanted to give them the land, and he said to Israel, you are Beulah, you are married to this land. And this is your land, and even when they were exiled during the days of the prophet Jeremiah, he told Jeremiah they will come back because this land is theirs, because I promised it to Abraham. And even when they were exiled after that, God said you will come back, he will bring them back and that happened miraculously in 1948. Militarily it was impossible, but with God all things are possible. Why, because God makes covenants, keeps covenants and seals covenants forever and ever. And we in marriage are married, Beulah, forever. Just like Israel is married to that land and God keeps them there, and fights with them there. We are to be kept in marriage and to fight for marriage because that is what he intended because he makes covenants, not commitments. I just want to show you now, how that bares out. Going back to the Old Testament. Back to the Song of Solomon, and look at how a covenant is kept in a marriage. Going to Chapter 8, an example of a covenant marriage and the things this couple does. This is Solomon again with his wife and this is what he says, “ 5 Who is this coming up from the desert leaning on her lover?” This is just the first example of like some friends seeing a boyfriend and girlfriend and they are like ooey gooey and mushy, this is like the same thing. Her friends are looking out and saying, who is that, I don’t see her anymore, she is leaning on her lover, she is unrecognizable. You know why? Because when you get married, you vow to die to yourself. When you come to the altar, when you get married in a church and come to the altar, symbolic, do you know what happens at an altar? Death happens at altars. For this reason, and then God takes two and makes them one. But then you and I, we come into marriage, you know what we come into marriage saying, “I love you”, then after 6 months it means, “You owe me.” You come into marriage pledging before God and the pastor or priest and the congregation, you come into marriage pledging unconditional love. But what you really have deep down in your heart are unspoken expectations. He’ll always, she’ll always. When you get married, you die at the altar of self. You live not for yourself, but to live for God and your spouse. And you make that pledge to die. Because that is what happens at the altar, you die to self. We get it backwards, and we think we got to feel it. Or we think that we can’t be afraid to do something or take a risk. When Jesus died. He was afraid. Read the Garden of Gethsemane account. When you come to an altar moment in your life, there will be a hint of fear. And there will be a hint of I am not sure, and there will be a hint of feeling, but you pledge and you die to yourself. You know where we get this though, Jesus. So many of us, I hear couples say this, “but I don’t feel it anymore”. You think Jesus felt ooey gooey before he went to the cross. Do you want to know what the Bible said Jesus did. It says this in Philippians 2, “For the joy set before Him, He endured the cross scorning its shame.” Do you know what that means? That means you don’t “feel it” but you go and you do something because of the joy it will bring your Father in heaven and your spouse on Earth. And you do it anyway. And God says this, “if you go all the way, unconditional, and die to yourself, and they go all the way, your spouse. Then in the middle right there where those two things cross. That is where the blessing of marriage occurs.” That is where marriage is awesome. That is the sweet spot, which is the “zone” of marriage. But most of the time we stand at the altar and he’ll come this far and she’ll come this far, and it’s who’s going to budge. Who’s going to budge first. That is a commitment and that is not a covenant. A covenant is you pledge to go all the way and the other pledges to go all the way and when those things cross, that is where the beauty, the joy, the harmony, the peace of Godly covenant based marriage occurs. You pledge to die for her and she for you. Just as Christ laid down his life to make peace with all of us. Christ died to himself, so you and I can become a new creation. You died to yourself, she dies to herself, so you two become a new creation before almighty God when the preacher says by the authority vested in me according to the laws of the state of (your state) and looking to heaven for divine sanction, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You are becoming one. He dies and she dies. You become one under almighty God. But you got to do that everyday of your life. Christianity for Dummies Chapter 4 Go to Church Christianity for Dummies Chapter 3 Sin and Repentence Christianity for Dummies Chapter 2 Salvation Christianity for Dummies Prologue and Chapter 1 Praying In the Heat of the Night Testimony Chapter 4 Judging and Gossiping , Commitment and Covenant For All Part 15, 16 and End Commitment and Covenant For All Part 13 and 14 , Commitment and Covenant For Men Part 11 and 12 Commitment and Covenant For Men Part 9 and 10 , Commitment and Covenant For Women Part 8 Commitment and Covenant For Women Part 7 , Commitment and Covenant For Women Part 5 6 Commitment and Covenant Relationships Part 4 , Commitment and Covenant Relationships Part 3 Commitment and Covenant Relationships Part 1 2 , Walk the Walk Self Esteemand the 8Cow Wife , I am a Christianx2026So What Now Communicating According to the Scriptures , Friend vs Spouse Christ in the cells of our body , The LoveHate list |
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6/14/2008 2:28 am |
Excellent post on marriage Michael, maybe you should be teaching it in schools or church if you are not already that is, blessings. Gods way is my way,...Clay
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