Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > deepestfaith > Mesianic Viewpoints |
|
Commitment and Covenant: For Women (Part 5 & 6) This is the second section in the committed series. The first was called “Commitment and Covenant: Relationships. If you didn’t get a chance to read that, I encourage you to read it first. I am going to review just a little bit. All these 4 segments sort of tie together so you need to get the benefit and try to tie them all together. In the last segment we talked about 1. Men and women are different, 2. We are different by design, and 3) we are different to compliment each other based on the unique needs that men have and that women have. And we basically said that men’s greatest need was to have the unconditional respect of their spouse. And a women’s greatest need is to have the agape or unconditional love of their husband and we saw that is a cycle. That if love motivates respect and respect motivates love when it’s given properly; likewise, when it’s not given in the absence of love there is the absence of respect. In the absence of respect there will be the absence of respect. So it’s a cycle and we challenged ourselves and you know what, we said that is a command of God, you know Ephesians 5:33, for men to love their wives and for wives to respect their husbands. God orchestrated it and put it in the Bible and so we have to have faith in God, sometimes more than we have faith in our spouse to obey that command because it can be unnatural and needs to be unconditional. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Part 5  Well in this segment, ladies, you are up to the plate. Because in this segment we are talking about what men want. Ok what men need and want and in the next segment we attack men with what you all need. So guys get to do the elbowing this segment, take the good notes etc. I want us to pray together first before starting. God you gave us each other and God I pray that you are with each as they read this, that you speak, that you strengthen marriages, that you give wisdom to single people, Father that you give grace to people that are hurting because of relationships, but Got that all of us leave again with an elevated view of marriage and an appreciation for our gender as part of our reflection of you God, you created us in your image and God we love you and thank you for today. In your name we pray, Amen. Standing outside of heaven there were two lines. This is not theologically correct by the way but you need to stay with me on the story. There are two lines of men waiting to get into heaven. In one line were a group of men who are totally controlled by their wives. Ok, these men were like “Yes dear, yes dear” men totally controlled by their wives. The other line was for men who are not controlled by their wives. The line of men to get into heaven who were controlled by their wives was gigantically long, like Walt Disney like long. And the line for men to get into heaven, by men not controlled by their wives was just this one guy. Well Saint Peter was standing there thinking what is this guy’s deal? So he goes over to him and says, “Hey sir, I am just curious, the line over here is just way, way long. Why are you standing in this line?” The man says, “I have no idea, my wife just told me to shut up and stand over here.” Here is what I want to say today. Women, you have absolutely unbelievable influence and power. Especially if God puts you in a marriage partnership, or in a marriage commitment, and the lie that our culture I believe has told women is, and even the church sometimes has been guilty of this, has emphasized so much the differences between men and women; and what women should and should not do that what the culture has interpreted (and this has birthed the feminist movement), the culture has interpreted that the differences mean better than, the difference mean hierarchy. And the feminist movement has said, “Ladies, to get your share of influence in the world, you basically have got to become like a man.” And that is so wrong, that is so sinful, that is so non-biblical and in this part all I want to do is show you in God’s word how you ladies can just totally respond to the men in your life that will exert the influence of Godly blessing upon husbands, upon homes and therefore upon communities and therefore upon the Kingdom of God. But you have to appreciate who you are as female and who he is as male. And you got to understand as female you have a responsibility. And here is what I want to say real quickly. Because today is unconditional and unnatural and all talking about the female and her response to the male, listen to this. His response, you don’t control. Your response, is your responsibility not to him, but to God. So keep that in mind as we go through this segment and I want to just write one verse of scripture and then we are going to get into a passage about how Peter talks about the power that wives have. He says this in 1 Peter 3, “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2when they see your respectful and pure conduct.” Here is what Peter is saying, women if you just respond to your husband and here he is talking about a husband who is far from God and does not even respond to God’s word and God’s teachings, we ladies without even arguing, without even whining, just by your pure and respectful conduct, you have the potential to win your husband to the Lord, as well as to your heart. That’s the influence when we understand and we appreciate the differences between men and women, and females your unique position to exert influence and to exert power and to bring blessing to your husbands. Now let me stop right there and talk about something real quick because I think we got to cover this. Ladies, there’s a temptation I think is present, a couple of temptations that are present in marriage and in men and women relationships that you’ll be tempted to do instead of the biblical thing. The first temptation and this is so satanic. Satan’s first temptation is for you to neglect your husband or for you to neglect your man at the expense of other things. Sometimes this neglect comes because of an unforgiving spirit, sometimes because of a hardened heart because you have been hurt so many times. Sometimes it comes when come. Churches dedicate every week and that is awesome, but the parent- relationship is third. It is spouse or husband, momma or daddy and Jesus. And then it is momma and daddy. 1,2, is 3. So many times parents get that out of order and the husband gets neglected for the because Moms, that is your instinct in a way. But that is a temptation you have to fight, that to neglect your husband no matter what, you can’t do that. The second temptation is to correct or to mother your husband. You almost treat your husband as if he is your big grown up baby. To mother him and try to correct him, after all ladies, you are the “helper”, right. That’s what the Bible says. Eve was the “helpmate” to Adam. So by helping him you got to correct him, and you got to mother him. The tendency is that comes across disrespectful. And there is a tendency in male-female dynamics for sometimes woman to believe really in her heart that the male is the epicenter of all problems. That all problems just emanate from him. And as a result you are tempted to fix, correct and mother him. Let me just say this ladies. You may win a lot of battles, but you will lose the war. If you try to continually correct and mother him. But that will be a temptation. The third temptation is this, to become a doormat. Some women are married to big personality men, domineering men. You know men who just exert influence. Some men that have gotten violent and harsh and that is never an excuse. You don’t be a doormat for that because you have to honor God first and sometimes honoring God means you got to really work out a dynamic there in a relationship. But don’t become a doormat and say I am just supposed to do this. You are never supposed to subordinate your relationship with Christ or the commands. Part 6 Before we do this I want to read almost the first words of this book because there is so much romance and it is so steamy, there is so much cool stuff in this book that you might miss this first little part in Song of Solomon 1:3-4. This is the female talking and she says, “ 3 Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the maidens love you! 4 Take me away with you–let us hurry! Let me just say this, before this book gets into the steamy part, you see an attraction here which is based upon something that all attractions need to be based upon. She says to him, “your name” and that in the Bible always means your heart and your character. So what this young girl is saying is that “I am attracted to your name.” And your character is like a perfume, like cologne, like a fragrance like just being around you is attractive. Just being around you makes me feel good. I am attracted first and foremost; she has said nothing about his physical character or attributes, which she will, but before any of that she is attracted to who he is and to his character. Let me tell you why this is so important and especially if you are single. Ladies, where we are going with this is challenging even if you are madly in love, to unconditionally respect your husband in the way that the Bible commands. But you have to make sure the man you are attracted to is a man you can unconditionally respect. Someone you can look at and respect unconditionally. The cool thing about marriage and we’ll talk about this more and more as we go on, is that in marriage there is a relationship that’s symbolized in marriage. And is the relationship the church is supposed to have with Jesus Christ. Jesus being the head of the church, the church being the body of Christ, and in the marriage relationship, the husband is symbolic of Jesus, and the bride or lady is symbolic of the church. The church is always called the bride of Christ and Christ is called the bridegroom coming for his bride, Revelations, Genesis, all of those are filled with that symbol, that symbolic relationship. So here’s the deal. Ladies, the way you are suppose to love and respect and respond to Jesus Christ is the way you are suppose to love and respect your husband. Big difference; Jesus is perfect, your husband will not be. Case you didn’t know that and if you are married then you definitely know that. Your husband is not perfect, but the command of God is still the same. You are still to love and respect your husband with that unconditional reverence that is given to Jesus Christ. That is why those verses are so important, that ladies you have to fall in love with his character FIRST. Again I want to give you a little list, to singles woman, anybody who is in this sort of dating dynamic or will be at some point, just some things to think about before we dive into this segment. The first thing I would say to a single lady, character has got to come first. You have got to fall in love with his character more than anything. Don’t fall in love with his bank account, with his job, with his physical appearance. Love his character first. That is paramount and you got to be in love with his character and what his character says about him because that is what will last in a marriage. Secondly ladies, you cannot believe this lie. Do not think that marrying him or having intimate relations will change him. Absolutely not, so many times girls drop their standards and give their bodies or get married to a man thinking that once this happens he’ll be different or relationship will be better or what I want it to be. That is a lie from Satan. Do not drop your standard. Character first and you cannot think just marriage or just compromising God’s standard about sexual purity will change him. Thirdly, don’t ignore your gut, God, or ignore Godly counsel. So many times woman want him to be the one so bad, that you are willing to ignore your intuition or Godly counsel and you find you are talking to God and you are bargaining with God. Because you know deep down in your gut, women you have this woman’s intuition, and you know deep down that he is probably not the one, but you are afraid he might be the last one for you to consider. So you compromise this standard. You know what a lot of ladies are like. They date someone and they know he is not the one or going to last. It’s feels good. But the long term is bad for them and they are trying to deceive themselves that he’s ok. Women, if you have to do that in dating, again like we said in the last segment, break up. Don’t ignore your gut and Godly counsel or God himself. The fourth thing that I would say to single ladies dating is this; don’t give into ungodly pressures. This comes several ways. It comes physically, it also comes with guilt cause sometime women, you heart takes over and you are like If I am not with him, who is going to help him through this. If I am not with him then there is no Christian influence in his life. Don’t be a missionary dater ladies. Have standards. And the last thing I would say to single ladies is you got to be open and you got to be honest with a guy. Don’t string a man along. If you know it is not working and after 4-5 dates, you two need to have a talk. And you say yes I see this going somewhere or no I don’t. Don’t waste each other’s time. And if you know it is not going to work out, don’t have him call you 300 times and tell him, “Oh I have just been busy.” Just say, “Hey look, it’s not working out.” Be gentle with him, but be open and honest, because character comes first. Because after this, and here is where we are going, you will see ladies and the command for you, now the command for men is no less challenging as they will see in the next segment, but the command for you is very challenging on how to respect unconditionally a husband. And that is what we want to talk about in Part 3 and 4. Christianity for Dummies Chapter 4 Go to Church Christianity for Dummies Chapter 3 Sin and Repentence Christianity for Dummies Chapter 2 Salvation Christianity for Dummies Prologue and Chapter 1 Praying In the Heat of the Night Testimony Chapter 4 Judging and Gossiping , Commitment and Covenant For All Part 15, 16 and End Commitment and Covenant For All Part 13 and 14 , Commitment and Covenant For Men Part 11 and 12 Commitment and Covenant For Men Part 9 and 10 , Commitment and Covenant For Women Part 8 Commitment and Covenant For Women Part 7 , Commitment and Covenant For Women Part 5 6 Commitment and Covenant Relationships Part 4 , Commitment and Covenant Relationships Part 3 Commitment and Covenant Relationships Part 1 2 , Walk the Walk Self Esteemand the 8Cow Wife , I am a Christianx2026So What Now Communicating According to the Scriptures , Friend vs Spouse Christ in the cells of our body , The LoveHate list |
||||
|
Whoa, I have done that...wanting someone to "be the one" so badly that I almost compromised my walk with God. I placed my desire for the relationship over my desire for God. As with any idol God has a way of tearing those down...and the relationship ended. Looking back I realized I was more in love with the idea of the relationship than the person...and he truly was not right for me. Listen to your friends...because love can definitely be blind. Looking back now I see a lot of things that would have been major problems had we married...and while this man was attractive, romantic, successful he would never have been able to be the spiritual leader in the relationship. Was I crazy or what? So continue to exhort us...yes, look for character first, don't let your emotions lead you, and seek godly counsel....be equally yoked. I think this applies not just to Christians marrying Christians but to marrying someone who is at the same level of maturity and commitment in their walk with God. Thanks Michael, for an excellent post! Can't wait to read the other side of things. He is no fool if he should choose to lose the things he cannot keep to gain what he can never lose.....Jim Elliott Deena 
|
, Then the men get equally abused, I mean helped 
|
