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Relationships with professional women. This is mainly for the ladies, but I invite anyone to comment. On the Oprah show this week there was a relationship counselor who addressed why many professional women are single. I think she was speaking to all of us. One woman had dated more than 100 men(I don't know how she had the time or energy to do that) in the past year,and never got past the first date. Oprah's cameras followed her on two dates. On the dates she totally dominated the conversations,and her attitude was somewhat condescending and it was evident that she was constantly upstaging her dates and besting them in everything. Her dress and overall demeanor exhumed intelligence and power. She wore a hat, but not a feminine hat that offered any hint that she was a woman or gave any hint of sex appeal. It was one of her usual professional suit-like outfits. She seemed very intent in wanting to impress the gentlemen with her knowledge and intelligence. Perhaps, in doing so, she wanted him to see what a great catch she'd make! Her conversation was exhaustless, and bantering. Dating her could be likened to entrapment,and she appeared to be desperately trying to reel them in! The other lady who was on the show had similar qualities. She was a 35y/o professional, and seemed to be "The total package." She was financially successful, had been engaged, but the guy eventually pulled out. Her mother had written in to Oprah because she couldn't understand how her beautiful, educated could still be single at 35y/o. The 3rd lady was about 45y/o, and was dating guys who were frequently half her age,and was trapped in the partying and drinking scene. She was shown making a fool of herself, bimbo-like, and unable to sustain a relationship,simply because of her immaturity,and the immaturity of those she dated. She was always surrounded by men, but none who wanted more than a one- night stand! Ok professional ladies, so what are we doing wrong? The percentages of single professional women has certainly increased, and even tripled for African-American women. We are financially successful,own beautiful homes and cars, seem to be so well put together and have it all, but are alone! I don't think many of us date 100 men like the woman mentioned above. Many of us, like myself, just give up! We involve ourselves in so many activities , or in our careers and that shields us from loneliness. We are actually too busy, and exhausted by the end of the night, that our bodies are numbed. Are many of us actually rejoicing in God in our singleness , or are we retreating from prior pain? Some are even adopting or having babies without the father involvement,esp when one notes the time clock is tickling. We sometimes just forego relationships with a man entirely. The relationship counselor pointed out how professional women who still desire relationships need to know how to still exhume femininity and softness. Leave the power, and that form of assuredness at work! Allow your man to open the doors or the jar, even though you are very capable of doing it yourself. Wear your power-suit at work, but exhume softness at home or on dates. Be more of a listener than a talker. You are not on the date to talk about how great you are, or your intellectual or political prowess, what you amassed materially, or where you have traveled. She stated that a "man still needs to feel like a man!" She also stated that we do not need to control our relationships, with the type of control that may be necessary in those that you may manage in the work place. Allow your man to feel like a man! What do you think ladies? "Should we pretend? " This was Oprah's question, and is also mine. Wouldn't that be dishonest,when we know we are very well capable of doing things ourselves? Do we grab our own tool belts and put the bike together? Do we allow them to pay, and continue to hold doors? Do we see more and more men choosing women who appear to us to be brainless bimbos, but who satisfy a man's deep need to feel like a man and to be needed by the damsel in distress? I invite your responses. Yours in Christ, Evermindful  Greater is He who is within me, than He who is within the world.  |
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2/8/2008 2:12 pm |
What an interesting post! My first thought is that the single professional woman you describe sounds a bit like the good wife at the end of the book of Proverbs: "...She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night...". Whether you are a man or a woman, you can be strong and competent, but still be kind and honest and warm and loving and generous hearted. Pretending to be less than you really are is just letting the world press you into its own mould.
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Hello evermindful, Welcome to blogland and thanks for the insight. As for me, whether you are a man or a woman, you should always act and become who and what you are. There's no sense trying to pretend who you are not. Like for example, intelligent women should never try to act dumb just to play safe with a man, just as dumb women should not try so hard pretending to be intelligent,just to impress a man. Each is bound to fail, one way or the other. We all should be loved for who we are and what we can become, not for what our partners imagine us to be. But yes, in a relationship, man should be man....Its alright to feel, act and think like a woman....its how God intended it to be. I love being and feeling like a total woman.One should compliment the other. God Bless. Sandra
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awesome post, thanks for sharing, and welcome to the land of blogs, cheers May the Lord bless you and keep you
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Excellent post! I was that career woman once and I can relate totally to this post. I have been single now for 12 years. It wasn't until I retired from my career that I started noticing the beauty of letting a man be a man. It's really God's plan. Is it not? Welcome to blogland. I hope that you meet many beautiful Christian friends as I have. If I can ever assist you with finding your way around the blogs, please let me know. GBY, Sheri (¯`•♥•´¯) ¤`•.♥.•´ ¤ (¯`•♥•´¯)
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