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Blogs > shevivya > DIARY OF A SUPER WOMAN


shevivya 66F
112 posts
10/31/2007 7:42 pm

Last Read:
12/15/2007 10:34 am
There's only so much a body can do...

I have a friend who I've been reaching out to for over a year now who suffers from depression. I thought I had made great progress with him, but in the last conversation he didn't sound so good. When he answered the phone he really down, like he did the first time I spoke with him, and we only exchanged a few words before he rushed me off the phone. There had been a couple of other recent phone calls where he sounded distant too, so I'm confused. Sometimes when he calls he's very talkative and he sounds very happy and other times I don't know what to expect and it makes me feel insecure.

I know only God can help him, but I feel so bad because he seemed to be much more cheerful since getting to know me, until lately. I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on him because he is really introverted and then he would have no one as a friend and the thought of that just kills me.

I think I'm I may be dealing with something much bigger than expected here. Please pray for me...and him.

Shelley

Tropical_Man 68M
6389 posts
12/1/2007 3:46 pm

 do a word search for the website of the book "Psychology Debunked" I think it will give you a very good insight into what is going on with your friend.

Blessings
Dennis


shevivya replies on 12/3/2007 7:00 am:
I'll look for it. My friend has a very stressful job and is a workaholic and I think that explains a lot too.

Smartyladygoof_7 58F

11/1/2007 6:20 pm

 Hi Shelly,

Thanks for your spirit of humility to consider what I have written earlier. I was very introverted and in some level still am. But as I grew in my relationship with God and as He leads me things started changing and I overcame feelings of insecurity and insufficiency. So keep praying and lifting the heart of your friend to God. The word says the heart of the King is in his hand and he directs it where it should go. God is able to change the heart of your friend so he will have joy instead of mourning, love instead of fear. God bless you and may the Lord continue to use you to bless this friend of yours.
"A life lived well for God is a life well lived." Smartladygoof_7


shevivya replies on 11/1/2007 7:28 pm:
Thanks so much for your wonderful, thoughtful words and encouragement. Everything you said has helped me so much. And I do feel better now.

Blessings,

Shelley

shevivya replies on 11/1/2007 7:29 pm:
Yes, this friend does need love instead of fears because he does have a lot of anxiety and fears! Just wanted to thank you again.

Smartyladygoof_7 58F

11/1/2007 10:20 am

 Hi Shelly,

You wrote:
I know only God can help him, but I feel so bad because he seemed to be much more cheerful since getting to know me, until lately. I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on him because he is really introverted and then he would have no one as a friend and the thought of that just kills me.

Yours is a compassionate heart and that is a good thing. I would encourage you though to look deep into your heart. Maybe you can ask yourself the ff:

Here are a few questions that came to my mind while reading your post.

Why are you really feeling bad that your friend is still depressed? Is it really because of the situation of your friend or because your efforts seem not to be working at all meaning there is a potential there that you are failing?

DO you feel responsible for your friend? What about personal responsibity?

AS an encouragement meditate on God's word which exhorts you to trust in the Lord with all your heart and not to lean in your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge him then he will make your path straight.

A word of warning to you too. Make sure there is no codependency behavior in this relationship with this friend.

Shalom! May God grant you wisdom in this.


"A life lived well for God is a life well lived." Smartladygoof_7


shevivya replies on 11/1/2007 3:51 pm:
I honestly do really feel bad for him. I know my efforts are not enough, but I did think I was giving him a ray of sunshine to hang onto because he has no friends.

I don't feel responsible for him though because as I said I know there is only so much you can do when you try to help someone. They do have the ultimate responsibility to work out their problems with the Lord. It's just that his situation is the saddest I've personally encountered. He has so much going for him and has a big heart where he takes personal risks to help others, but because of his lack of social skills he is very lonely and even though he cares for others, no one seems to care about him. I know there are many people like him in the world, but when I see someone suffering this close I can feel their pain and it just makes me sad.

I don't think it's codependent. I've studied about that to make sure and that doesn't fit this situation.

Thanks for the input! It helped me think it through a little more.

chapscot 61M

11/1/2007 1:02 am

 Praying for you shelly.
GBY
stevie
"This is the year of the favor of our God"

"Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine."(Bridge over troubled waters)